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This morning I legitimately considered asking a homeless guy on the subway if he thought West Virginia would beat Kansas in a potential second round matchup. Without spring break this is all I have, clearly.

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I knocked over a display of bottled water last night at Whole Foods while staring at a hot girl. This is how rarely I see knock-outs in NYC. For reference I used to run into polls, parked cars, trash cans, and open manholes pretty much daily when I was on campus at Texas. One time I even ran into a police horse trying to make eye contact with a hot chiquita. Those were the days.

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While my friends were getting into law school and getting engaged this weekend, I focused on beating Call of Duty. A few years from now I'm confident my accomplishment will mean more in the grand scheme of things. As an aside, that was one of the more depressing endings to a story I've ever seen.