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This morning while working out at my local YMCA a blind guy sat down at a machine I had just vacated. I've seen this guy before, and not only am I pretty sure he's there more times a week than I am, but he proceeded to add more weight than I had just done. God continues to drop hints to me about how worthless I am, but I guess I just keep ignoring them.

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Reprimanded by a co-worker for being "too crass," I will refrain from making a LOST joke and allow you to draw your own conclusions: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/brazil_plane

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I saw the dude accidentally drop a single green pea into my bowl while making my salad (I don't like green peas in my salad), and I am now desperately searching for it before taking a bite. To think I used to argue with people who said I was OCD.

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There were some legit smoking hot chiquitas at church on Easter. Maybe I need to start going more often. (P.S. if I wasn't going to hell already I pretty much cemented it by texting that to a buddy during the service) (P.P.S. the iPhone revolutionizes church services).

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The first edition of the Chronicles of PHA was like Freaks and Geeks: Critically acclaimed, but yanked off the air almost immediately. As soon as conflicts with one star were resolved one of the other stars is now in contract discussions with other apartments. PHA is like SNL during the 70's, only with more drugs and fewer women.

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This morning I legitimately considered asking a homeless guy on the subway if he thought West Virginia would beat Kansas in a potential second round matchup. Without spring break this is all I have, clearly.

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I knocked over a display of bottled water last night at Whole Foods while staring at a hot girl. This is how rarely I see knock-outs in NYC. For reference I used to run into polls, parked cars, trash cans, and open manholes pretty much daily when I was on campus at Texas. One time I even ran into a police horse trying to make eye contact with a hot chiquita. Those were the days.