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This morning I legitimately considered asking a homeless guy on the subway if he thought West Virginia would beat Kansas in a potential second round matchup. Without spring break this is all I have, clearly.

Price status

I knocked over a display of bottled water last night at Whole Foods while staring at a hot girl. This is how rarely I see knock-outs in NYC. For reference I used to run into polls, parked cars, trash cans, and open manholes pretty much daily when I was on campus at Texas. One time I even ran into a police horse trying to make eye contact with a hot chiquita. Those were the days.

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While my friends were getting into law school and getting engaged this weekend, I focused on beating Call of Duty. A few years from now I'm confident my accomplishment will mean more in the grand scheme of things. As an aside, that was one of the more depressing endings to a story I've ever seen.

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When you type in "how to" into Google search the top suggestions are "tie a tie," "kiss," and "get pregnant." Apparently the people who use Google most are total idiots (me), pubescent geeks (me, then), and gold digging whores (me…future?).

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My female co-worker was crying so, thinking something horrible had happened, I was like "oh, man, are you alright? What's wrong?" and tried to console her. Then I found out she was crying while watching The Bachelor re-runs on abc.com. Right when I'm about to be like "y'know, maybe girls aren't as totally insane as I think they are," I see something like that. I just don't get it.

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Correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe it's Girl Scout Cookie season. The first time I come home drunk I guarantee I eat an entire sleeve of Shortbreads.

Status update - Price

Marco: “Your status updates sound like your boyfriend wrote them.” Intelligent and insightful criticism, Marco, thank you. However a more popular topic of conversation within the gchat world today seems to be “Who the fuck is Marco?”